To Live Life, Moment To Moment, Is Enough
A few days ago, while listening to my morning mediation on the HeadSpace app, the teacher said this:
To live life, moment to moment, is enough.
I reflected on their words.
I reflected on what it means to live life, moment to moment. To not dwell on the past or excessively worry about the future. I heard the words and thought to myself: That’s where I am right now. I started living life, moment to moment.
It doesn’t mean I don’t care what tomorrow will bring. It doesn’t mean I have no care in the world.
Instead, it means that am less occupied with the past or the future. And more focused on the present moment.
I did not get to this point overnight.
Nope.
It seems I had to do some work first…
Six years ago, I started living in a strange state of being.
It came about as a result of me leaving a job. On paper, it was a great job. In real life, not so great.
Even though leaving was the right thing to do, I had some pretty raw wounds, and I did not know how to tend to those wounds.
Instead, I spent my days focusing on the past. Some part of me felt ‘safe’ in the past. The present hurt way too much, and the future was something I could not fathom.
Moving forward meant taking risks, which meant the possibility of failure. I had just ‘failed’ at something, and I could not cope with another failure.
Memories played on repeat. It was easier to live in the past.
And in the meantime, life went on—many times, without me in the driver’s seat.
During those years, I think my mind was trying to pull me out of the past; I resisted. I resisted by turning almost everything off. And if it wasn’t off, it was definitely on mute.
And with that, my world turned to grey.
And I stalled.
Then, three years ago, my life started to change. I took my life back. Slowly.
I started seeing a therapist. I began to tend to the wounds. I began to look inside.
I started saying no to things that no longer served me. I started saying yes to things that were in alignment with my values. I made efforts to start living a life that I was proud to live.
It was NOT easy.
I had been in this strange state for a few years. It took time. But I kept at it.
One year turned into two, turned into three. And here I am.
It has taken a tremendous amount of work to get to where I am now, to live my life, moment to moment.
I would love to say that I nailed it and live life 100% of the time, moment to moment. That is not the case.
I have hiccups. I sometimes choose others before I choose myself. I sometimes worry about the future.
But ultimately, I catch myself. Or a morning meditation reminds me. And I get back to me. I get back to the moment. And I find my calm. I find my peace. I find me.
It’s the little things…
